Angie Chung/MNS
Washington — Excellent communication skills are among the most sought-after talents, especially for politicians.
To be a good communicator, though, it’s important to know that you should not only be an eloquent speaker — that’s a given — but you should also know how to interpret and use nonverbal techniques effectively.
Aaron Brehove, a fraud investigator at one of the big-four accounting firms and well-known body language expert, discussed his new book, ‘Knack Body Language,’ on Tuesday at a bookstore in Washington, D.C.
Brehove said understanding body language is important beyond politics. People in business, sales, advertising entertainment, crime detection and even national security need to learn how to read other people. “It’s helpful for anybody that wants to understand how to put vocabulary to certain body language gestures.”
Among high-profile politicians, Brehove pointed to former President Bill Clinton’s great ability to quickly establish a rapport with his eyes, hands and the moment, to interact with people.
“When he shakes hands with you, he’ll actually hold eyes a little big longer, stays with you a little bit longer,” which is a great way to make people feel valued.
Clinton also “stands off a little bit to your side so he’s not intimidating you, not coming on your area but you’re on his,” said Brehove. “Bill Clinton is terrific at connecting with people.”
Brehove also said that body language is a great indicator in gauging the truthfulness of politicians.
“A lot of politicians have training in nonverbal communications, how to present themselves,” he said. But when there are any changes from how they typically act — for example, a politician who’s usually extremely well-rounded, but doesn’t seem conversational — it’s a great time to ask questions.
Another telltale sign is if their body language comes after their words, it’s usually not genuine, Brehove said.
“If you have intent to do something, you act, think and then say it,” said Brehove. “So if someone is saying something that they really care about you and then they put their hand on their heart, it wasn’t a very genuine display. We saw that when Tiger (Woods) was giving his speech. He gave his body language a beat after he said (the words in his apology for infidelity).”
So your body language could make or break your impression. Don’t you want to build more confidence and increase the chance of likeability? Here are Brehove’s body language must-knows to become a better communicator.
Look confident
Based on his experience as a fraud investigator, the author said people who exude confidence and relaxation will touch their faces, play with their hair, or fidget with their hand or bodies much less than people lacking in confidence.
And people appear more self-assured, accomplished and knowledgeable when they stand tall with squared shoulders.
One good way to look confident is using gestures to illustrate your speech that will open up your torso.
Beware micro-expressions
Micro-expressions are formed by action units, which are muscle movements of the face. You unconsciously flash split-second facial expressions that can give away your feelings, the author says.
Citing psychologist Paul Ekman’s research, Brehove points out the seven emotions that show up the same way in every human face that are impossible to hide: anger, disgust, happiness, sadness, surprise, fear and contempt.
“When communicating with others, watch for micro-expressions in order to gauge your audience’s response,” Brehove recommends.
Cross hands
Brehove says crossing arms often signifies intense thought or opinion, but it can often be read as boredom.
So this mixed-meaning posture should be used considering the situation and whom you are talking to.
“As this may be the most widely discussed body language gesture by the general public, it can be the kiss of death for a salesperson.”
Mirroring
In some cases opposites attract, but finding common ground is a quick and almost sure-fire way to establish rapport.
Note the tone and rhythm of your subject and attempt to mimic them, Brehove says. It also can be verbal or nonverbal—observe another’s hand gestures, facial expression, posture or mannerisms and “mirror” them.