WASHINGTON – Watching a presidential candidate hop around a boxing ring in nothing but red silk shorts is like watching your dad awkwardly dance at a wedding. It’s uncomfortable and embarrassing, but hard to look away.
Politicians have used sports to appeal to the masses for centuries. Sometimes, their athletic displays make their resumes radiate, like West Point’s star footballer President Dwight D. “The Kansas Cyclone” Eisenhower, and Hall of Fame basketball player and three-term U.S. Senator Bill Bradley.
But when politicians misstep on the field, diamond, court or even the sidelines, it only demonstrates that they are as awkwardly human as the rest of us. When they refer to the basketball hoop as the basketball ring, think ‘San Francisco’ is playing in this year’s NBA finals, or go shirtless horseback riding through the Siberian wilderness, it’s almost as painful as watching a Game of Thrones sex scene with your parents.
Here are some of the most befuddling, cringe-worthy attempts at political sportsing.
President George Bush Sr. strikes out
He may have captained the Yale baseball team, but President George H.W. Bush’s athleticism on the field didn’t quite translate to the bowling alley. In 1984, while campaigning as vice president, Bush Senior fell to his knees playing one of the least rough and tumble games there is.
Like father like son: President George W. Bush drops the ball
President George W. Bush failed to impress the Miami Heat, when the 2006 NBA champions popped into the White House. While joking around with the team, Bush’s attempt to bounce a basketball fell flat. It thudded painfully dead on the stage, eliciting raucous laughter from the audience, and an awkward pity handshake from 7 feet 1 inch star player Shaquille O’Neal.
President Obama: left of center
When he threw the first pitch the Washington Nationals’ home opener in 2010, President Barack Obama, a White Sox fan, paired the Chicago team’s cap with a Nationals jersey. Maybe he hoped his odd fashion choice would draw on as much talent as possible for the nerve-wracking throw. It didn’t help: Obama tossed the ball so high and wide it left the camera’s line of sight.
Cheney’s got a gun
Sometimes, sporting slipups hurt more than just a politician’s pride. While on a hunt in Texas in 2006, Vice President Dick Cheney mistook 78-year-old attorney Harry Whittington – dressed in a bright orange safety vest – for a quail. While Whittingon survived a shotgun blast to the face, he was surprisingly not the first to be shot by a sitting vice president. More than 200 years earlier, in a time when duels were an acceptable form of personal conflict resolution, Vice President Aaron Burr fatally shot Secretary of the Treasury Alexander Hamilton.
A Dick Cheney impersonator at the Art Car Parade in Uptown – Wedge, Minneapolis, Minnesota – July 21, 2007. Photo by Tony Webster, used under Creative Commons.
Marco Rubio’s incomplete pass
Could Sen. Marco Rubio’s football fumble have been a sign for things to come? Out on the campaign trail in 2015, the then presidential hopeful threw a pigskin directly into a kid’s face at the Iowa State Fair. While he wasn’t injured, the admittedly solid pass was immediately ridiculed by internet users, who replaced the football with a Pokemon ball.
marco rubio out in iowa just trying to catch em all tbh@Mirandacgreen pic.twitter.com/An37A0Vtxo
— darth™ (@darth) August 18, 2015
British Prime Minister David Cameron is the weakest link
Political sporting struggles are an international dilemma. To be honest, British Prime Minister David Cameron could have several entries on this list: from being bowled out clean by a child playing cricket, to his agonizing attempt at badminton, Cameron has proved he’s a natural spring for political sporting failures. But perhaps the saddest, and funniest, was his pairing with Obama playing ping pong. On a 2011 state visit to the UK, Barack Obama had the misfortune of teaming up with the clumsy Prime Minister. While Obama redeemed his suffering sporting cred with an admirable performance, his transatlantic partner cemented his reputation as the kid who got picked last in PE class.
Photo at top: Washington Nationals’ first baseman Ryan Zimmerman and President Barack Obama leave the field after the ceremonial, cringe-inducing first pitch, April 5, 2010. By Cathy T, used under Creative Commons.